frozen in/out of love

Gray day

hiding behind the brown

of a winter

i never lived

i feel frozen ground

remember how

i took for granted green

soft, supple blades

recalling that i did not

take my shoes off

in the warmer day

sun-filled, asking me to

run my toes through its hair

like only a lover would allow

and to lay down with it

another invitation i let pass

and now its caress has

grown cold and hard

mocking me naked

its blanket of snow cast aside

so late in this season

with trees who

have not dropped their leaves

in a last gasp of vanity

tomorrow, in may's solar rays

another boy

will play, walk and love

run his toes through the grass

while mine hide safe

in steady shoes

that will not tell the secret colors

of spring's thaw